Stop it.
-Rem
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Everything I Need To Know, I Learned At Steak 'N' Shake
-When the urge to eat nutritionally questionable food hits, go with it. Hilarity could very well ensue.
-When someone you once had sex with and later exposed as a borderline psychotic stalker is making your food, expect problems.
-When you can feel your stomach cringe at the smell of aforementioned food, eating it is ill-advised.
-When you can see your stomach cringe in the above situation, go talk to the other woman in the restaurant that you've slept with.
-Protip: Make sure you remember the second girl's name. Failure to do so can lead to...well, nevermind. The look on her face when I asked "Have we met?" is something I'll cherish until either death or Alzheimer's, whichever comes first.
-Turning around quickly, then back toward her, then back again to the mutual friend who walked in with her once the realization of who she is sets in? Counterproductive.
-Agreeing with her claim that she could be a famous pornography "actress", then elaborating by citing the down syndromtacular faces she makes as her future claim to fame? Also counterproductive.
-When your friend randomly decides to snort SNS Peppersauce, for the love of God, make sure your camera phone fucking works.
-Leave before the dumb bastards sober up.
-When someone you once had sex with and later exposed as a borderline psychotic stalker is making your food, expect problems.
-When you can feel your stomach cringe at the smell of aforementioned food, eating it is ill-advised.
-When you can see your stomach cringe in the above situation, go talk to the other woman in the restaurant that you've slept with.
-Protip: Make sure you remember the second girl's name. Failure to do so can lead to...well, nevermind. The look on her face when I asked "Have we met?" is something I'll cherish until either death or Alzheimer's, whichever comes first.
-Turning around quickly, then back toward her, then back again to the mutual friend who walked in with her once the realization of who she is sets in? Counterproductive.
-Agreeing with her claim that she could be a famous pornography "actress", then elaborating by citing the down syndromtacular faces she makes as her future claim to fame? Also counterproductive.
-When your friend randomly decides to snort SNS Peppersauce, for the love of God, make sure your camera phone fucking works.
-Leave before the dumb bastards sober up.
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