Since everyone else is already starting their stupid, self-deceiving bullshit already, I figured I'd go ahead and get mine out of the way. Y'know, a little initiative. Take the bull by the horns.
...Also, I have nothing else to write about.
Rem's List Of Things That Should, But Probably Won't, Get Done In 2009
-Stop getting romantically and/or sexually involved with self-absorbed, polygamy-obsessed, psychotic bitches (let's face it, this has the potential to be the biggest lie of the whole list).
-Find a different way to pay the bills.
-Slap someone in the face at current job should I be accepted to a new one.
-Stop being a chump and finish my stupid novel.
-Berate various publishers with obscene phone calls until said novel is published, thereby ending my dependence on slave wa--uhm, traditional employment.
-Start getting romantically and/or sexually involved with responsible, upstanding, morally rich womehahahahahaHAHAHAHA!!!!
-Get a blow job on my birthday. Yeah, what, I said it.
-Step outside domicile for purposes other than work, procuring foodstuffs or smoking a cigarette.
-Don't get federal drug charges brought up against me.
-Don't violate probation from last set of federal drug charges.
-Stop poking fun at instances and decisions that have/will have serious negative effects on my life.
-Kick myself in the junk should I actually accomplish the previous resolution.
-Take yoga classes to prepare for previous two resolutions.
-Start talking to my friends so that they hear more about my life from me than they do from my blog.
-Stop being a jackass and getting to bed on time.
-Get a better profile picture.
-Break my dependency on technology.
-Buy a gun.
Well, on that delightful and not at all disconcerting note, I'm going to bed. Sleep tight!
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