"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." -George Orwell

The following is a post by Marie Christiansen, a student of Criminal Justice Professor Tamra White at Kaplan College. I make no claim whatsoever to the following, and furthermore, will introduce a steel toed boot to the colon of anyone who implies that I could ever be stupid enough to come up with something like this myself.

"Julie I like your posting and it really got me going....Laws are set to govern. I do not believe that the drinking age should change. I agree too many people do not honor that law. I was one of them. I was out drinking before I was of age. I had no consequences for that action. My parents were alcoholic and I was able to not get caught. I paid the price in a long run If people understood alcoholism and addiction they would see more reason in the law. I have been sober for 30 years. I fault many things for our younger people drinking at such a young age...it looks fun...and it was until I saw what it cost me. Our son Nick came at the end of the line of six children...we learned so much from our mistakes. Last summer when Nick thought he knew more than anybody else and wanted to live on the street and do drugs and drink we had a hotline to the police. I called in every time he was seen smoking, drinking, and when he was gone more that 24 hours. It took all summer but by August Nick was in so much trouble with the law that he ended up in court and on probation. I was thrilled that he had finally hit the wall. Today he has been clean for 9 months. I wish I had the answer but I do believe that enforcing the laws with him and backing the police was the right choice for us. Did you know that in Wisconsin it is against the law to have sex before you are 18 and you can call the police...I did. His girlfriend's parents were very upset but I was not...they were 15 and I was not allowing them to have sex in my house. Did they continue to have sex...yes but not in my house. I stood firm on things that I knew were law. I called them in every time I saw them walking down the street smoking...pretty soon those kids you do not want hanging around aren't around. I also turned in the young man who tattooed my son, the gas station that sold cigarettes, and the man who was buying them alcohol. It was the summer from hell but I have my son back today. Thank God. It is not popular to take a strong stand. I even took a stand with my church where I had gone for 25 years. I knew we would not get our son back unless he learned to respect and honor us and the law. I have had to do this with our oldest son too. The law is for our protection. Most kids do move out at 18. Some are moving on to greater things for themselves and others are just running wild....I wish I had the perfect answer but I don't. I just know it is my job to do my best to teach them the law and to teach them to honor and respect the law and authority. Thanks, Marie"

Yes, I know. It hurts. It hurts a lot. Let me make it all better by showing you my reply which, unfortunately, I couldn't post on their own forum due to not being a student.

Wow. Just...wow. You have no idea just how much I'd love to reply with "Way to suck" and leave well enough alone but, sadly, I find that the older I get, the more I need to go into detail as to why something that someone did was a mistake instead of simply waiting for them to show up on the Darwin Awards.
Let's start out with the most disturbing aspect of all this, just to get it out of the way so I can stop being angry at a society that equates parenting with acknowledging a problem and finding someone else to solve said problem. I can grant you the benefit of the doubt to the extent that you're Catholic instead of one of the many perpetually spread-eagled welfare mothers who have a house full of children because every nine months they find a new boyfriend who just can't stand the thought of wearing a condom so that there will be room on the planet for everyone else, but that's about all the slack I'm willing to cut you. That said, are you fucking kidding me? It's a uterus, not an assembly line! While a level of intelligence, or lack thereof, that can't comprehend the basics of birth control would explain why you're letting local law enforcement rear your offspring, it doesn't change the fact that you're obviously biting off more than you can chew and need to look into sterilizing yourself, if for no other reason than anyone who can justify the things that you've done in the name of teaching your children right from wrong just doesn't need to procreate.
Second, I feel it's necessary to address your level of complacency. People like you are exactly the kind of people who've made it so easy for our government to slowly rob Americans of rights that are ours from birth, not because we deserve them, but because thousands of every day citizens took up arms against concepts and ideals they believed to be corrupt. I'm willing to bet you have no idea what I'm talking about, so allow me to elaborate a bit. The Revolutionary War was fought and won by Americans who believed that by virtue of living, a man should be free to seek contentment in whatever way he saw fit, so long as sad contentment did not come at the cost of someone else's well-being. At no point do I remember either my high school or college history instructors saying anything close to "Life, liberty, and the persuit of puritanical fanatic approved happiness, derived with no less than seventy-five percent of your clothing on and with a completely sober mind." Maybe I was asleep that day. What I do recall is being taught that this country was founded on liberty, on the concept that every human being was born with the right and the duty to make his or her own decisions. You are aiding in the desecration of the memories of those brave men and women, and at the risk of sounding trite, that makes you suck out loud.
Now for the fun part, explaining just how badly you've hurt your child. I'm not sure if you've ever stopped to think about the way that the legal system works these days, but it's got the same inner circles and gossiping coworkers as any other office-based occupation. For the sake of not letting my opinion of you slip any lower than it already has, I'll assume the child in question wasn't of age when you ran to the police flailing your arms around like an idiot screaming "Please do something, my teenager is rebellious in much the same capacity as every other teenager in the history of humanity, and I just can't bring myself to put my foot down and do something about it myself!" Did you ever stop to think about the ramifications of trying to get John Law to play babysitter? About how those charges are going to follow him around for the rest of his life? About how potential employers rarely look into the specific circumstances of a charge before dismissing the applicant without a second thought? Before you make the argument that charges brought against children are sealed the moment that child turns eighteen, don't bother. I've seen with my own eyes just how effective that is in protecting citizens from their own capricious youth. Let me put this simply: if someone is brought up on charges as an adult, a district attorney can get his or her hands on any piece of information they damn well please. What do you suppose happens when the D.A. in question runs into aforementioned adult's judge? "Oh, I'm sorry your Honor, but I'm not at liberty to discuss this young man's past. We're still playing eighteen holes this weekend, right?" Are you honestly that naive? Your laziness has made your child's life all the more difficult in a time when over half of America is subsisting below the poverty line. I reiterate, way to suck.
Finally, I'd like to take a moment to explain why law enforcement organizations exist in the first place. Have you ever seen what a severely beaten housewife looks like? Have you ever witnessed the psychological trauma of a rape victim? Have you ever watched a team of surgeons try to extract bullet fragments from the torso of a seven year old who was caught in the crossfire of an inner city firefight? Have you ever taken one step outside of your happy little psuedo-Christian suburban bubble and seen what happens when real criminals are allowed to run free a-merrily throwing bricks through store windows and ventilating innocent bystanders because their local police force, whose officers were spread far too thin to begin with due to budget cuts, had to answer a noise complaint because Susie Homemaker's neighbors were having band practice while she was trying to watch American fucking Idol? Police officers are meant to serve and protect. The next time your son breaks wind too loudly or, God forbid, makes out with his girlfriend, look on the side of the attending officer's car after you distract him from doing his real job because you're too busy organizing a bake sale, it's written there as plain as day. You're taking them from where they're needed most because you don't have the stones to be a real parent.
I'd like to hope that you actually took the time to read through the bulk of this and consult the dictionary of your choice when you came across the multitude of words I'm certain you had no idea how to define, but honestly, I can't quite make myself care. It's not because I condone your actions in any possible sense of the word. It isn't because I think you should keep on ruining your childrens lives and making everyone else miserable with your self-righteous, holier than thou, "I am totally gay for the law!" rhetoric. It isn't even because I think the carbon that went into the formation of your pitiful little mind wouldn't have been better utilized as fertilizer. It's simply because I'm all too familiar with your type. When you speed, you justify it by saying you're in a hurry. When you jaywalk, you justify it by mentally pointing out the lack of crosswalks. Finally, when you're too lazy to take an active role in your child's life by doing whatever's necessary to teach him or her right from wrong instead of relying on the education system, the judicial system or Congress to do it for you, you justify it by blaming society. To you, I'm likely to be filed away as just another part of the problem. Thankfully, I acknowledge that I could be something much, much more terrible.
I could be like you.

Blood is thicker than water, but not bullshit.

Y'know what's fun? A family reunion where seventy-five percent of the people in attendance are over the age of seventy, the few people under thirty are either doctors, lawyers or in high-priced colleges, and you're the only one with tattoos and/or piercings and/or a drug addiction that everyone knows about. Also, you're adopted.

It was the best two hour kick to the balls ever.