Too far.

Dear Internet Pornography,

First of all, I wanna' thank you for everything you've done over the years. Honestly, without you, I don't think I could've managed to stay away from the hell that is romantic attachment for as long as I have. You've given me my freedom, and for that, I will be eternally grateful.
Lately though...things have changed. You're not the same as you used to be. Back in the good old days, I could sit down, type in a URL, get everything out of my system and not have a single negative thing to say about the experience. Maybe, I don't know, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the one who's changed. Maybe it's not your fault at all. I guess what I'm trying to say is...well, it's over.
I hope we can still be friends.

-Rem

The point of this disgusting little open letter is that, when there's a gorgeous fishnet-clad German girl with blond hair and blue eyes engaging in x-rated activities, the last thing I wanna' hear is a fucking Madonna song. Fuck's sake, you know the world's fucked up when even your spank material is going emo. The Power Of Goodbye has officially scarred my penis for life.

Thank you, and I'm sorry.